OH MY GOSH!
School seriously feels like... like basic training. Well, we are getting "basic training" hahaha. But SERIOUSLY. I mean like for the military. I feel soo tired. Yet, I'm just glad none of us have fire watch at 2:30am hahaha. Whew! Trying to make people beautiful takes the energy out of me as it is. Hopefully soon it will be putting energy in to me.
So I am getting less sleep than half the work I am doing. I don't think that's a great schedule, but maybe I will get used to it. I go to school for 9.5 hours then have a 45 minute drive home and study for at least 3 hours. I have little time to do anything else during my day. And I suppose that's ok because it IS what I will do for a living. Hopefully it will go on to be a great career.
I have 2 different visions for where I want to get from here. The first is a platform artist doing hair and make up on models for photo shoots for high fashion shoots or runways. I really love photography too, so if I am also a photographer... maybe that will make me a better platform artist? The other plan I have envisioned for myself is working in a salon while owning my own photography business. Cosmetology would enhance my business by being able to do professional hair and make up for the photo shoots! I love both ideas. It would be super cool to be able to do either thing. Both involve lots of people and opportunities. I know it comes down to one thing- God's plan for me. I just hope and pray that he makes that clearer as I walk one step at a time with His guiding light.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
First Day of the Rest of My Life
6:30am-wake up
7:00am-breakfast
7:30am-time to leave but there was ice all over my windshield!
7:35am-I finally get to leave because daddy helped me get the ice off my car :)
7:55am-Almost there, but had to pull over to go to the bathroom because I was too nervous to use the restrooms at school! lol
8:00am-arrive at Regency Beauty Institute. I think I am supposed to be there 15mins from now. I notice people are slooowly arriving and we are ALL just sitting in our cars. hahaha
8:15am-Jeree, my dean arrives. She says we won't do anything till 8:45. So, I run to walmart and grab something.
8:30am-Get back. The parking lot is FULL. Everyone is inside. Fashionably late? I wasn't late at all.
8:45am-ORIENTATION.
the rest of the day-TONS of stuff happens. I have already learned so much today. I feel like a sponge. That's a good thing right? :) I am so exhausted. It was so hot in that building. I thought something was about to hatch! Like an incubator! haha.
Anyhow.. overall, the first day was a success. I see that I am taking chemistry and trichonomy (the study of hair), which doesn't really scare me. I feel pretty ok with all of that. I just hope I can be elite at what I do. Here is to my career! I have to pray that God keeps me in check and keeps my nerves down haha. I think I will still be a little nervous tomorrow. If you are reading, pray for me please!
7:00am-breakfast
7:30am-time to leave but there was ice all over my windshield!
7:35am-I finally get to leave because daddy helped me get the ice off my car :)
7:55am-Almost there, but had to pull over to go to the bathroom because I was too nervous to use the restrooms at school! lol
8:00am-arrive at Regency Beauty Institute. I think I am supposed to be there 15mins from now. I notice people are slooowly arriving and we are ALL just sitting in our cars. hahaha
8:15am-Jeree, my dean arrives. She says we won't do anything till 8:45. So, I run to walmart and grab something.
8:30am-Get back. The parking lot is FULL. Everyone is inside. Fashionably late? I wasn't late at all.
8:45am-ORIENTATION.
the rest of the day-TONS of stuff happens. I have already learned so much today. I feel like a sponge. That's a good thing right? :) I am so exhausted. It was so hot in that building. I thought something was about to hatch! Like an incubator! haha.
Anyhow.. overall, the first day was a success. I see that I am taking chemistry and trichonomy (the study of hair), which doesn't really scare me. I feel pretty ok with all of that. I just hope I can be elite at what I do. Here is to my career! I have to pray that God keeps me in check and keeps my nerves down haha. I think I will still be a little nervous tomorrow. If you are reading, pray for me please!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
My First Day of School :)
Well, tomorrow I start school. Not just any school... Cosmetology school. I am just a little bit afraid or nervous. It's certainly a new thing for me. Mom is acting like it's my first day of kindergarten hahaha. She packed my lunch for me and she went and got me this awesome key chain thingy from bath and body works that holds a mini hand sanitizer! How cool is that??
I thought it was way cool.
Probably the thing that defines my fear the most is the fear of the unknown. I guess I will face that tomorrow. I am also a bit worried about having a class with primary girls. Girls are dramatic..but, I hope that I can gain some lasting friendships out of these next 9 months. At least 1.
I am just praying that God prepares me for what is to come. In a way, I feel like he maybe already has. Also, praying that he gives me the strength to walk in with confidence and stay focused on what I'm learning. I should remember that, almost everyone in the class is in the same boat. We are all starting from scratch. Well... except 2 girls who have 900 hours each. You only need 1500 to graduate. I get my first hour tomorrow!! Yay! :)
I thought it was way cool.
Probably the thing that defines my fear the most is the fear of the unknown. I guess I will face that tomorrow. I am also a bit worried about having a class with primary girls. Girls are dramatic..but, I hope that I can gain some lasting friendships out of these next 9 months. At least 1.
I am just praying that God prepares me for what is to come. In a way, I feel like he maybe already has. Also, praying that he gives me the strength to walk in with confidence and stay focused on what I'm learning. I should remember that, almost everyone in the class is in the same boat. We are all starting from scratch. Well... except 2 girls who have 900 hours each. You only need 1500 to graduate. I get my first hour tomorrow!! Yay! :)
Saturday, March 27, 2010
the writings of an insomniac
Good evening. Or should I say good morning? It is the wee hours and I am having trouble sleeping at the moment. After thinking about some of my past with my ex, I am kept up a lot at night. I do a lot of writing. If you don't already know, I am a musician. I am actually working on my first album. I am recording in a studio in Springdale, Arkansas.
I thought of a new song concept tonight/this morning. You know that feeling of not knowing what to do with your emotions? Especially concerning feelings of love. Whether they be positive or negative feelings, we sometimes literally don't know what to do with them. Here is what I have written:
what do I do with these feelings
do I wear them on my sleeve
where do I find a ray of hope
someone tell me to believe
what do I do with these butterflies
what do I do with this heart beat
I can't shove them in my pocket
I can't put em under my feet
oh me, oh my
my little heart
it tries to fly
up to the sun
where love is nigh
where love is nigh
what can I do to save me
from jumping over the pale moon
where can sing my love song
let it fly away on a red balloon
where can I let my tears fall
would you let them fall in to a jar
where do I find my insides
do I wish for them upon a star
oh me, oh my
my little heart
it tries to fly
up to the sun
where love is nigh
where love is nigh
I really enjoy the concept of these lyrics. It is a song longing to be closer to God, and further from confusion. When I record the song in video, I will post a link to my youtube account so you can also hear it.
I thought of a new song concept tonight/this morning. You know that feeling of not knowing what to do with your emotions? Especially concerning feelings of love. Whether they be positive or negative feelings, we sometimes literally don't know what to do with them. Here is what I have written:
what do I do with these feelings
do I wear them on my sleeve
where do I find a ray of hope
someone tell me to believe
what do I do with these butterflies
what do I do with this heart beat
I can't shove them in my pocket
I can't put em under my feet
oh me, oh my
my little heart
it tries to fly
up to the sun
where love is nigh
where love is nigh
what can I do to save me
from jumping over the pale moon
where can sing my love song
let it fly away on a red balloon
where can I let my tears fall
would you let them fall in to a jar
where do I find my insides
do I wish for them upon a star
oh me, oh my
my little heart
it tries to fly
up to the sun
where love is nigh
where love is nigh
I really enjoy the concept of these lyrics. It is a song longing to be closer to God, and further from confusion. When I record the song in video, I will post a link to my youtube account so you can also hear it.
Friday, March 26, 2010
My Morning Reading
Well, technically it's my afternoon reading since I slept till 1pm..
I've been sick, so don't judge me lol.
Well, a little bit of background before I share what I want to share this morning. My last relationship lasted over 2 years, and ended about 8 months ago with him strangling and beating me almost to death. Don't get me wrong..I know that's bad and all but I cared so deeply about this guy. I hadn't heard from him in a long time..until last night. I was watching [H]ouse. It's like, one of the only shows I keep up with. I receive a text from him; he is pre med. ironic? I don't really know. Well, I had been feeling just fine about getting over him, but last night's conversation really brought up some emotions. My mother gave me a Bible a while back with devotions by T.D. Jakes scattered throughout. I hadn't read from it in a long time, having lost hope for reconciliation with myself. However, I decided to pick it up this morning, and this is what I read.
Soul Secrets
O God! My heart hurts with a pain that I have never known before! I need hope and I need help. Well-meaning people come with offers of help, luch invitations and other opportunities for distraction, but even their love cannot reach the pit of my soul that is in so much pain. My loss has left me feeling lost and alone. His death (having to leave him) ended what we had together and what we were together- one flesh, one mind, one spirit.
I do not want to face the world by myself. Pull me bck to life from the grave of my grief. Heal the aching of my soul. Soften the stabbing pains I feel when everything I see reminds me of the one I loved. Devliver me from ffeeling guilty over things I wished had been different between us. Help me to realize that he knew the things that I with I had said more often. Speak to me the living words that only You can utter. Send me the kind of comfort that only comes from heaven.
You are the only man in my life now, Lord, I am leaning on Your love. Bring the light of Your presence to this dark place I'm in. Restore me with the tenderness of Your mercy, until I am strong and whole again.
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Well, I do.
I had just opened up the Bible and turned to this devotion, without even thinking. Something as simple as that gives me the hope that I need to carry on. This passage described exactly what I've been feeling and also what I've been striving toward. You guys may not relate to this post as much, but the concept is unmistakable.
Everything happens for a reason.
I've been sick, so don't judge me lol.
Well, a little bit of background before I share what I want to share this morning. My last relationship lasted over 2 years, and ended about 8 months ago with him strangling and beating me almost to death. Don't get me wrong..I know that's bad and all but I cared so deeply about this guy. I hadn't heard from him in a long time..until last night. I was watching [H]ouse. It's like, one of the only shows I keep up with. I receive a text from him; he is pre med. ironic? I don't really know. Well, I had been feeling just fine about getting over him, but last night's conversation really brought up some emotions. My mother gave me a Bible a while back with devotions by T.D. Jakes scattered throughout. I hadn't read from it in a long time, having lost hope for reconciliation with myself. However, I decided to pick it up this morning, and this is what I read.
Soul Secrets
O God! My heart hurts with a pain that I have never known before! I need hope and I need help. Well-meaning people come with offers of help, luch invitations and other opportunities for distraction, but even their love cannot reach the pit of my soul that is in so much pain. My loss has left me feeling lost and alone. His death (having to leave him) ended what we had together and what we were together- one flesh, one mind, one spirit.
I do not want to face the world by myself. Pull me bck to life from the grave of my grief. Heal the aching of my soul. Soften the stabbing pains I feel when everything I see reminds me of the one I loved. Devliver me from ffeeling guilty over things I wished had been different between us. Help me to realize that he knew the things that I with I had said more often. Speak to me the living words that only You can utter. Send me the kind of comfort that only comes from heaven.
You are the only man in my life now, Lord, I am leaning on Your love. Bring the light of Your presence to this dark place I'm in. Restore me with the tenderness of Your mercy, until I am strong and whole again.
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Well, I do.
I had just opened up the Bible and turned to this devotion, without even thinking. Something as simple as that gives me the hope that I need to carry on. This passage described exactly what I've been feeling and also what I've been striving toward. You guys may not relate to this post as much, but the concept is unmistakable.
Everything happens for a reason.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
the silversmith
The content of this blog will not be organized in any sort of way. It's a journey. The best journeys aren't always thought out ahead of time. right?
What I would like to bring to your attention is the title of this blog "walking on silver sidewalks". It has a couple meanings to me, as the seeker:
1. I am a Christian. As a Christian I strive to walk the "straight and narrow". This term, plus the title of the blog reminds me of a knife, or a blade rather. You can visualize it in your head..the sharpest part of the blade, the most dangerous.. is also the most narrow. (and it is also a silvery color which is a given)
2. It reminds me of a silversmith.I heard a devotion once. I can't remember where I was when I heard it for the first time, but the message always stuck with me. Basically, the devotion gives you a picture of the process of purifying silver. Now, take note of the term "purify", because it will come up again later.
The Silversmith
The process of purifying silver is very simple. One holds the silver in the flames until one can see his own reflection. Yet, it is not so simple. Hold the metal in the flames too long and it is ruined. useless. And if you do not leave it in the fire long enough. The same result-dullness.
This is exactly what God does to us. He keeps us in the "fire" for just as long as we can handle it. Not too long. Not too short. And until He can see His reflection in us. Great analogy!
What I would like to bring to your attention is the title of this blog "walking on silver sidewalks". It has a couple meanings to me, as the seeker:
1. I am a Christian. As a Christian I strive to walk the "straight and narrow". This term, plus the title of the blog reminds me of a knife, or a blade rather. You can visualize it in your head..the sharpest part of the blade, the most dangerous.. is also the most narrow. (and it is also a silvery color which is a given)
2. It reminds me of a silversmith.I heard a devotion once. I can't remember where I was when I heard it for the first time, but the message always stuck with me. Basically, the devotion gives you a picture of the process of purifying silver. Now, take note of the term "purify", because it will come up again later.
The Silversmith
The process of purifying silver is very simple. One holds the silver in the flames until one can see his own reflection. Yet, it is not so simple. Hold the metal in the flames too long and it is ruined. useless. And if you do not leave it in the fire long enough. The same result-dullness.
This is exactly what God does to us. He keeps us in the "fire" for just as long as we can handle it. Not too long. Not too short. And until He can see His reflection in us. Great analogy!
To you
This is to those who inspired me to begin this:
Thank you for asking me questions that challenged me. Thank you for picking at my mind and making me think. Thank you for never judging me. Thank you for always caring.
Thank you for asking me questions that challenged me. Thank you for picking at my mind and making me think. Thank you for never judging me. Thank you for always caring.
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