Nirvana

No not actual nirvana, yet I feel like something has been made very clear to me. My destiny. My true path. Now, I'm not telling you yet, but I am headed straight to it. You will hear from me soon...

on this day Nov.13.the 12:00 hour I decided to pursue my passion.
Thanks to these people:
Cory Payerli
Dawn Harris
Willie M Sanchez-Gotopo
Sean Thomas Evans

impact

Something has happened to me that has never happened to me before. Death. No, not my death. Might as well be though.. My ex boyfriend died in a car accident. October 9, 2010. Strangely enough, I still haven't quite dealt with the grief. I had never experienced a death of someone close to me, so I didn't know what to expect of my feelings. A good friend of mine just recently lost their best friend. So, now, I have someone who can relate. It's such a sad thing. It really put life in to perspective for me... or maybe it just screwed it up. I don't really know for sure, but I do know that life here is short. It's even shorter if we don't care.

The truth about my testimony

Any of you grow up in sheltered homes? Once you got out in to the "real world" you looked back and felt that you were owed a life that you never had the opportunity to embrace? Did I think I was the only one who felt this way? no. I know better.

Today my mom and I were talking and we brought up my testimony. It was interesting, because we both remembered me saying in high school that I didn't have a testimony. Well, I sure thought that because I had never "experienced" anything. I thought I had to overcome more before I had a testimony worth telling.

At what cost does one reap this.. testimony?

I paid dearly, almost with my own life.

Now, I won't go in to detail about why that is the case. The point is: It's not worth it. After having gone off the deep end and wandering around in a dark spiritual wilderness, I have one thing that stands out in my mind in particular as a lesson learned. What is interesting, is that I never spoke this realization out loud until today in mid conversation with my mother. I turned and said to her,

"Mom, I wanted to experience things, but what a greater testimony that one walks in faith."

Ain't it the truth?? I am in no way knocking anyone's testimony. I am speaking to the people like me right now. The ones who felt like they were owed a life or owed experience after getting out on their own. I am speaking to the ones who got caught up in the vicious cycle. The ones who knowingly went..there. It's never too late to get back on the right track. You are going to fail. Every day. And it's ok, His grace is sufficient.

So, the truth about my testimony.. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth disappointing my parents. It wasn't worth making my family sick with worry. It wasn't worth walking out of God's sight. It wasn't worth the potential of losing my own life. It wasn't worth the permanent damage, to my mind, my body, my spirit, my emotions. Had I stayed in God's light.. where I knew I was supposed to be. Where I was guided. Where I felt life. I wouldn't have the scars that remain on me today.

Bruised Knees

I prayed for a long time today. I am being severely torn down. So much that it has made me just want to quit. But I've never finished anything in my life it seems. Except that baconater from Wendys the other day. *puke face* Though I am treated unfairly and poorly in my current situation, I have decide that I am going to push through, instead of running away. ... Like I usually do. So, in order for me to get through this, I know I need Gods help, in a huge way. It is out of my human nature to want to persevere such suffering. Yet, today I havedecidedto consider it joy! I am on my knees, literally, every day forward. I once met a man whose knees were black and permanently bruised from kneeling in prayer. What a testimony.

Sandpaper people

My life is like that of a confused teenager in middle school who is struggling to fit in or even to just be invisible. Either one is better than being picked on by the mean girls in school. Why is a 21 year old still dealing with this kind of behavior coming from other "adults" ?

As I listen to others' stories and what not, I realize that we never grow up. None of us do. We just take on more responsibility and make "grown up" decisions. Most of us, though we are in our 20s or even 60s are still dealing with the same destructive behavior.

I don't mean to sound like I am complaining, but it doesn't seem fair. Yeah I got the news flash that life isn't fair. You don't have to remind me. I just can't seem to understand these mean people. They are literally un kind. I have encountered many in my life time, as you have. I am here to tell you that it doesn't get any better with age. If anything, it gets worse. Because instead of bickering and badgering about juvenile things, they are poking at you for very adult things.

I like to call these people Sandpaper People. They always have a problem with someone. Even you. What did you do wrong? Do you even know what you did wrong? I know I don't know. I have no idea what I have done to make these people so angry at me. -They are mad at everyone. Even the people they are friends with, they will turn on them eventually.

These abrasive personalities come from their own insecurities. Sandpaper people will only continue to be abrasive. Get this:

What does sandpaper do to wood?
makes it smooth.
shapes it.
removes rough spots.
Don't you agree that is what sandpaper people will do to you?

I know it sucks, and it's hard to live with this kind of person. I am encouraging you to keep going and give these people an opportunity to shape you. I am not saying you have to like them or give them unwarranted respect. I just think that you can have piece of mind knowing that you are a better person now, and you will be an even better person after overcoming these people.

I hope that if you are reading this, and there are bullies in your life, that you get comfort from these words.

My Unrequited Love Situation

She's in love with the moon and it's terrain
but in the sky it must remain
she says bend down bend down and kiss me
but he stares back blankly

there will come a day for you
some day he will love you too
if you just wait...

she's in love with the wind and it's cool breeze
the way it dances and shakes the trees
she says take me take me far away
but on the ground she stays

I know how much you yearn
for the love to be returned
just wait..

she's in love with the sun and it's light
the way it makes everything bright
she says light me light me up inside
don't let anything hide

You've waited for so long
but he never came along
don't wait...

so run with the wind
in to the sun
go tell the moon
that he is the one

with the sun on your face
over the brim
he will feel the embrace
reflect on to him

What fills your blank?

Am I the only one who feels this insecure?

..didn't think so.

I find my self displaying more confidence on the outside, but the more I do the less I have on the inside. Funny how that works. Well, not that funny..
what's even funnier is how when you think that you have what you want. Finally, right? But, then you realize that it wasn't all it's cracked up to be.

Why do I do that? I know I am just like every one else. Why do we do it?
"I would be happy if I just had...."

Fill in the blank.

a car
a dress
a pair of shoes
a boyfriend
a hair style
a tan

what fills your blank?

We rob ourselves of our own happiness when we live like this. Sure, there is lots of neat stuff out there and romance is a most commercialized idea in America. I don't intend to sound preachy.. as these are just my thoughts and subtle opinions. I just really think that so much sadness could be cured if we could cure ourselves of the need to fill in our blank. We need to let God fill the blank and the rest will fall in to place. Amen?

Amen.

Flutter By

Today, an extraordinary thing happened upon me..

I was working on a song during one of my breaks. The song aches for a sign from God that is more than a whisper. As I was singing:

"would you send a sign to me? Oh, God help me believe"

A butterfly, orange. Similar to a monarch, but smaller. It fluttered up to my strumming hand and landed on it. As it lingered, I took in the awe of the trusting creature. It was so wild and free. I wished I had a real set of wings to join it in the magnificent act of flight.

Soon after that thought, I began to realize the true magnificence of the situation. At that moment, the butterfly flew to my capo that was placed across my strings. As if a prompt to play.

So, I played.

The butterfly sat there for the remainder of the song and fled when I moved to pack my guitar away.

At this moment, I looked up the butterflies native to Arkansas, and I found the exact butterfly. It was the American Snout. What an adventure for that butterfly. Moreover, an adventure for me.

So, is this a sign for me?
could be..
Will I ever know?
maybe..

Vitalmins

I realize that I am not the only one on the planet that could want more minutes in my day. I just think that it would benefit us all if there were more to spare.

Every minute is vital.

Every minute counts...and seems to keep counting even faster than the day before.

Since every minute is so valuable, I have been thinking a lot about spending them more wisely. I don't have many to spare. I am in class or work 50 hours a week. (plus 5 hours a week of driving) plus.. whatever amount I sleep. Which will hopefully be changing soon!

Tonight, I bought some vitamins. looked at some new exercises. and I'm going to bed early so that I can wake up earlier. Squeezing exercise in to my day won't be cake at all but it may be a walk in the park hahahahaha. I love how that just flowed out of my mind and made me laugh all at the same time.

I hope my new little resolutions help me get off to a better start in the morning so that I feel more energized. :)

Wish me luck making my minutes more vital!

Waiting for the gun shot

I am starting to see some of the pieces that will make up the big picture of my dreams. It's a great feeling.

Dreaming. Dreaming. Dreaming. I never stop dreaming.

I always hoped that I would start to feel things falling in to place. I really feel more like my starting blocks are being formed and ready for me to take off from them.

I can't wait for that gun shot.

The checkered flag..I don't want to race in all honesty. I want to take life minute by minute and digest it so that I don't miss a thing.

You know that boy I met?
He want's to surprise me with something tomorrow.

I am anxious with butterflies.

Don't you see that, we are loved beyond all recognition?
God loves those who wait for Him.
God helps those who call on Him.

I waited.

I received.

Generation Y

My apologies for my preoccupation with other things. I suppose that turning 21 is quite a cornerstone in my generation. It was not all that glitters.. really the more valuable thing was the journey to 21.

Lately, I've been contemplating my generation. Generation Y. or.. Generation Y not? If there were ever a time that the bandwagon was THIS appealing... please tell me. Maybe during Woodstock?..still doesn't compare.

The opportunities our young people and young adults have today are not any greater than before in the sense that there are exciting new things to try; rather, our generation (particularly referring to Christians) has become desensitized. We have become "postmodernized" (yes I made that word up) Meaning that we have become more or less moral relativists. We are not all spineless, the Church itself hasn't lost it's spine in its entirety...it is the individuals.

Now, I know I can't make this a blanket statement for every church, every person, around the world. BUT.. In my assessment of my peers and myself, (I tend to OVER analyze until I can break it down to something I can iterate to others) I have discovered a -fear-. Not a fear of God, mind you. A fear of rejection.

Isn't that a natural feeling of any person?

yes. It is.

We become lost in the crowd, in the excitement. We don't feel like we have a testimony until...we have, been there..done that. I know I felt that way. I know countless souls who hold the same view. My mother even recalls me using these exact words "Mom, I don't have a testimony. I've never experienced anything."

What a tragedy of things I did experience before I realized the pointless endeavor was just wasting my life away.

This is where it comes to a decision. On the side walk? Or off? right?
Off is a drop, but what a view from the top...

waiting reaps...

A love that not my heart can keep. This is the greatest news of all. I've met a boy that is stealing my heart. I've yet to tell much of anyone. Yet, I am posting it here for anyone to see.

...believing that waiting will one day reap

a love that not my heart can keep...

Once I finally found my heart to be content, I found myself being less and less like a fetter. Which, is a great feeling after having been held so close for so long. I have long awaited the heart for my heart.

carbon copy

I read a quote from some Banksy art work last night. I can't remember who said it, but it went like this: "one unique idea is worth a thousand mindless quotations" That really got me to thinking.. I even set it as a favorite quote on facebook. but, as I thought it was true, I also thought about Ecclesiastes and how it says that there is "nothing new under the sun". As I was thinking, I began to think more along the lines of people and uniqueness. Lately I've been hearing that I am special, unique, different, talented, and intriguing. These are all things everyone wants to hear. But... What I want you to hear today is this: one unique individual is worth more than a thousand carbon copies.Yes, I coined this phrase, or paraphrased the quote from the Banksy piece. But I just thought that it rang more true than the original quote. While there may be no "new" ideas, no two are alike unless they make themselves like another. So, be you.Be happy with you.You were created unique to be unique.

wiiings!

I'm a buffalo wild wings. And I'm just feelig both so up and also so down. I'm hoping these wings will get me in a better mood. Maybe it's my glucose level? Hmm... I suppose i will find out soon!

New Band

So, I'm exited! My friends Nate and Isaac have moved in together. And, we are starting a band. I'm excited about having people to write with on a regular basis. I'm so excited that I've written 3 almost complete pieces of lyrics in te past few hours. Lol I love music :)

Insomnia strikes back

So, it has been forever. I apologize deeply for this. I have been up and down and in between. Life has made turns good and bad. The most exciting news I have to report is that I played my first solo show recently! I was so nervous, for 2 whole days before the show! It was some guy's going away party and they wanted live music. A guy asked me to come play so I was just like.. alrighty then. Let's do this!

So, I played my show :)

I was so proud of myself for not backing down from the fear that wanted to creep on stage with me. I just got up there, played my set, and they asked for another song! So, I played one more song.. The band asked me to play with them again some time. I think I will :)

I've also been having some problems with insomnia again.. as you can see. I went through the stages of wanting someone to love then to feeling completely independent and not wanting anyone around at all.. It's difficult to find that medium of interdependence. Anyways, I guess I am going to try to keep this up again. I am feeling like I need to vent.

Thanks for listening..

Ground Breaking Discovery

I sometimes get bored with the same old routine. I want something to surprise or impress me. I fall in to the lull of every day life. I do love school and enjoy it very much; but, it's so much time out of my life that it gets tiring as of late. I am tired of feeling like I'm just going through the motions. Since drama hit the school scene, I've felt a sort of numbness concerning the social aspect of school. Tara is the only one I talk to, which is not a bad thing; however, I feel I have developed an unhealthy level of defense when it comes to everyone else.
I just realized today that it has been 8 months since I have had a boyfriend. To you, that may not seem like much...but coming from a girl who had a boyfriend all the time through middle school, high school, and even college..with the largest break between serious relationships being 1 month! This is ground breaking for me. I feel a strong sense of independence and strength in that. I am slightly worried that I have overcompensated because of all the belittling and criticizing that happened in my last relationship. Perhaps it has left me calloused. I worry about that sometimes...that I won't find the imperfection to complete me because I don't want imperfection. I feel like even if I did meet or even the ones I know right now that are perfectly good gentlemen.. I feel like I just force them away. I'm not sure why I do that, but I'm trying to focus on letting God have my heart. It's becoming more apparent to me that I haven't even fully given Him my heart. Maybe that is the answer to my conundrum...

I hope that tomorrow I am inspired.
I hope that my smile is contagious.
I hope that God's love is obvious.
I hope that my heart is obedient.

The Static

Oh my.. It's been way too long since I've written anything. The thing is, there was a lot of what people like to call "drama" going on in my life the past 2 weeks. And, since I was so heavily involved in it (not by my own fault), I just didn't feel like I should make any posts as that particular situation was heavy laden on my thoughts. I didn't want to 1- be negative and 2-be tempted to share too much of the situation. Which is the more "adult" thing to do? Sit back and complain about all the "drama" or deal with it? Idk.. you tell me.

My conclusion of the situation is this: It is obvious that God has a great plan for me involving this career. I see Satan's work first hand every day. I believe that I will be doing great things, even greater than I have imagined. I had to remember Job. He was following God with all his might and Satan came along and took everything from him. God has allowed this situation to happen to grow me, to test my faithfulness, and so that one day he can use me in an even greater way.

Well, other than that.. what's new? hmmm... Well, not a whole lot. Just been doing the same old thing. Oh, I decided on an alias for my debut and what not. (I am supposed to be on the radio hopefully by July) Well, first you have to know that after my last "crisis" (you know you go through stuff and then you overcome it, you make a better situation or challenge out of it. We generally come up with a theme of the situation) Well, what notion I have been stuck on is that, I am Not Another Juliet. I am not here to be rescued. I am not here to pick my poison. I am not here for another dramatic tragedy. Thus, the name Naj was born. N-not A-another J-juliet :)
I haven't run it by my producer yet, but I hope he likes it.

If you are reading, send up a prayer for me. I need every ounce of strength and res I can get. Thank you for being patient and godnight!

Hidden Feelings

Salutations friends!

Update on school: We are learning perms this week! :D I have settled in a good group of friends. I think that I am really happy with my friend Tara. (not saying this just bc you asked me to write about you :) She is super sweet and we have a lot in common. I hope to reap a great friendship out of the next 9 months with her.

Update on music: I just recently wrote a song that I am absolutely in love with.
I am going to attach the vid to the blog so you can check it out.

Update on me: Well, I've been experiencing feelings of loneliness where guys are concerned. I have been really trying to focus on leaning on the Lord. I know he is the only one who can really complete me. But He DID create me to nurture and complete someone, so the desire isn't entirely flesh. I believe God wants us to love with that untamed love. I have been getting the feeling that the time is drawing near that I am to be met with someone of interest. I don't really know why I'm getting that feeling, but it's there. I trust it. Ironically, a good friend of mine told me recently that he senses change on my horizon. I hadn't even told him of those feelings. I don't want to get ahead of God though, I want him to be in control and the apple of my eye.

testing...testing...toast...toast

Haha I wrote that title because it reminds me of testing a microphone. It's like I'm getting ready to deliver a speech. Anyways!

I am up way too late on the eve of my first practical exam. Yet, I feel like it's ok to be up this late because I think that I am going to do really well on the exam. It's a combination of written exams broken up in different sections and also a performance grade. We have to act as if we were actually in front of the State Board taking our exam for our license. It is kinda stressful, but it's ok.

I haven't had much time for any sort of relaxing or really anything at all haha. I get home, study, blog, and then go to bed. I am getting up earlier tomorrow so I can get my stuff together. Plus, a friend that carpools with me has to be there half an hour early. OH! I put extensions in my hair! And dyed it black! It's amazing! I will try to post before and after pics on tomorrow or saturday's post. I am dreadfully tired. I have to work after school tomorrow. So, I will be super, super busy until... 9:30pm.

So.... that means I have a.....15 hour day tomorrow... at the END of a 40 hour week.

UGH!

Seriously, the only way I can get through all of this (not to mention it's that time for me this month...so sorry if that's TMI..but I DID say this journey has no lies!) is to pray. At the end of this week I will surely say "I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!"

Beauty Boot Camp

OH MY GOSH!

School seriously feels like... like basic training. Well, we are getting "basic training" hahaha. But SERIOUSLY. I mean like for the military. I feel soo tired. Yet, I'm just glad none of us have fire watch at 2:30am hahaha. Whew! Trying to make people beautiful takes the energy out of me as it is. Hopefully soon it will be putting energy in to me.

So I am getting less sleep than half the work I am doing. I don't think that's a great schedule, but maybe I will get used to it. I go to school for 9.5 hours then have a 45 minute drive home and study for at least 3 hours. I have little time to do anything else during my day. And I suppose that's ok because it IS what I will do for a living. Hopefully it will go on to be a great career.

I have 2 different visions for where I want to get from here. The first is a platform artist doing hair and make up on models for photo shoots for high fashion shoots or runways. I really love photography too, so if I am also a photographer... maybe that will make me a better platform artist? The other plan I have envisioned for myself is working in a salon while owning my own photography business. Cosmetology would enhance my business by being able to do professional hair and make up for the photo shoots! I love both ideas. It would be super cool to be able to do either thing. Both involve lots of people and opportunities. I know it comes down to one thing- God's plan for me. I just hope and pray that he makes that clearer as I walk one step at a time with His guiding light.

First Day of the Rest of My Life

6:30am-wake up

7:00am-breakfast

7:30am-time to leave but there was ice all over my windshield!

7:35am-I finally get to leave because daddy helped me get the ice off my car :)

7:55am-Almost there, but had to pull over to go to the bathroom because I was too nervous to use the restrooms at school! lol

8:00am-arrive at Regency Beauty Institute. I think I am supposed to be there 15mins from now. I notice people are slooowly arriving and we are ALL just sitting in our cars. hahaha

8:15am-Jeree, my dean arrives. She says we won't do anything till 8:45. So, I run to walmart and grab something.

8:30am-Get back. The parking lot is FULL. Everyone is inside. Fashionably late? I wasn't late at all.

8:45am-ORIENTATION.

the rest of the day-TONS of stuff happens. I have already learned so much today. I feel like a sponge. That's a good thing right? :) I am so exhausted. It was so hot in that building. I thought something was about to hatch! Like an incubator! haha.

Anyhow.. overall, the first day was a success. I see that I am taking chemistry and trichonomy (the study of hair), which doesn't really scare me. I feel pretty ok with all of that. I just hope I can be elite at what I do. Here is to my career! I have to pray that God keeps me in check and keeps my nerves down haha. I think I will still be a little nervous tomorrow. If you are reading, pray for me please!

My First Day of School :)

Well, tomorrow I start school. Not just any school... Cosmetology school. I am just a little bit afraid or nervous. It's certainly a new thing for me. Mom is acting like it's my first day of kindergarten hahaha. She packed my lunch for me and she went and got me this awesome key chain thingy from bath and body works that holds a mini hand sanitizer! How cool is that??

I thought it was way cool.

Probably the thing that defines my fear the most is the fear of the unknown. I guess I will face that tomorrow. I am also a bit worried about having a class with primary girls. Girls are dramatic..but, I hope that I can gain some lasting friendships out of these next 9 months. At least 1.

I am just praying that God prepares me for what is to come. In a way, I feel like he maybe already has. Also, praying that he gives me the strength to walk in with confidence and stay focused on what I'm learning. I should remember that, almost everyone in the class is in the same boat. We are all starting from scratch. Well... except 2 girls who have 900 hours each. You only need 1500 to graduate. I get my first hour tomorrow!! Yay! :)

the writings of an insomniac

Good evening. Or should I say good morning? It is the wee hours and I am having trouble sleeping at the moment. After thinking about some of my past with my ex, I am kept up a lot at night. I do a lot of writing. If you don't already know, I am a musician. I am actually working on my first album. I am recording in a studio in Springdale, Arkansas.

I thought of a new song concept tonight/this morning. You know that feeling of not knowing what to do with your emotions? Especially concerning feelings of love. Whether they be positive or negative feelings, we sometimes literally don't know what to do with them. Here is what I have written:


what do I do with these feelings
do I wear them on my sleeve
where do I find a ray of hope
someone tell me to believe

what do I do with these butterflies
what do I do with this heart beat
I can't shove them in my pocket
I can't put em under my feet

oh me, oh my
my little heart
it tries to fly
up to the sun
where love is nigh
where love is nigh

what can I do to save me
from jumping over the pale moon
where can sing my love song
let it fly away on a red balloon

where can I let my tears fall
would you let them fall in to a jar
where do I find my insides
do I wish for them upon a star

oh me, oh my
my little heart
it tries to fly
up to the sun
where love is nigh
where love is nigh



I really enjoy the concept of these lyrics. It is a song longing to be closer to God, and further from confusion. When I record the song in video, I will post a link to my youtube account so you can also hear it.

My Morning Reading

Well, technically it's my afternoon reading since I slept till 1pm..
I've been sick, so don't judge me lol.

Well, a little bit of background before I share what I want to share this morning. My last relationship lasted over 2 years, and ended about 8 months ago with him strangling and beating me almost to death. Don't get me wrong..I know that's bad and all but I cared so deeply about this guy. I hadn't heard from him in a long time..until last night. I was watching [H]ouse. It's like, one of the only shows I keep up with. I receive a text from him; he is pre med. ironic? I don't really know. Well, I had been feeling just fine about getting over him, but last night's conversation really brought up some emotions. My mother gave me a Bible a while back with devotions by T.D. Jakes scattered throughout. I hadn't read from it in a long time, having lost hope for reconciliation with myself. However, I decided to pick it up this morning, and this is what I read.

Soul Secrets
O God! My heart hurts with a pain that I have never known before! I need hope and I need help. Well-meaning people come with offers of help, luch invitations and other opportunities for distraction, but even their love cannot reach the pit of my soul that is in so much pain. My loss has left me feeling lost and alone. His death (having to leave him) ended what we had together and what we were together- one flesh, one mind, one spirit.

I do not want to face the world by myself. Pull me bck to life from the grave of my grief. Heal the aching of my soul. Soften the stabbing pains I feel when everything I see reminds me of the one I loved. Devliver me from ffeeling guilty over things I wished had been different between us. Help me to realize that he knew the things that I with I had said more often. Speak to me the living words that only You can utter. Send me the kind of comfort that only comes from heaven.

You are the only man in my life now, Lord, I am leaning on Your love. Bring the light of Your presence to this dark place I'm in. Restore me with the tenderness of Your mercy, until I am strong and whole again.





Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Well, I do.
I had just opened up the Bible and turned to this devotion, without even thinking. Something as simple as that gives me the hope that I need to carry on. This passage described exactly what I've been feeling and also what I've been striving toward. You guys may not relate to this post as much, but the concept is unmistakable.

Everything happens for a reason.

the silversmith

The content of this blog will not be organized in any sort of way. It's a journey. The best journeys aren't always thought out ahead of time. right?

What I would like to bring to your attention is the title of this blog "walking on silver sidewalks". It has a couple meanings to me, as the seeker:

1. I am a Christian. As a Christian I strive to walk the "straight and narrow". This term, plus the title of the blog reminds me of a knife, or a blade rather. You can visualize it in your head..the sharpest part of the blade, the most dangerous.. is also the most narrow. (and it is also a silvery color which is a given)

2. It reminds me of a silversmith.I heard a devotion once. I can't remember where I was when I heard it for the first time, but the message always stuck with me. Basically, the devotion gives you a picture of the process of purifying silver. Now, take note of the term "purify", because it will come up again later.


The Silversmith
The process of purifying silver is very simple. One holds the silver in the flames until one can see his own reflection. Yet, it is not so simple. Hold the metal in the flames too long and it is ruined. useless. And if you do not leave it in the fire long enough. The same result-dullness.

This is exactly what God does to us. He keeps us in the "fire" for just as long as we can handle it. Not too long. Not too short. And until He can see His reflection in us. Great analogy!

To you

This is to those who inspired me to begin this:

Thank you for asking me questions that challenged me. Thank you for picking at my mind and making me think. Thank you for never judging me. Thank you for always caring.