My Morning Reading

Well, technically it's my afternoon reading since I slept till 1pm..
I've been sick, so don't judge me lol.

Well, a little bit of background before I share what I want to share this morning. My last relationship lasted over 2 years, and ended about 8 months ago with him strangling and beating me almost to death. Don't get me wrong..I know that's bad and all but I cared so deeply about this guy. I hadn't heard from him in a long time..until last night. I was watching [H]ouse. It's like, one of the only shows I keep up with. I receive a text from him; he is pre med. ironic? I don't really know. Well, I had been feeling just fine about getting over him, but last night's conversation really brought up some emotions. My mother gave me a Bible a while back with devotions by T.D. Jakes scattered throughout. I hadn't read from it in a long time, having lost hope for reconciliation with myself. However, I decided to pick it up this morning, and this is what I read.

Soul Secrets
O God! My heart hurts with a pain that I have never known before! I need hope and I need help. Well-meaning people come with offers of help, luch invitations and other opportunities for distraction, but even their love cannot reach the pit of my soul that is in so much pain. My loss has left me feeling lost and alone. His death (having to leave him) ended what we had together and what we were together- one flesh, one mind, one spirit.

I do not want to face the world by myself. Pull me bck to life from the grave of my grief. Heal the aching of my soul. Soften the stabbing pains I feel when everything I see reminds me of the one I loved. Devliver me from ffeeling guilty over things I wished had been different between us. Help me to realize that he knew the things that I with I had said more often. Speak to me the living words that only You can utter. Send me the kind of comfort that only comes from heaven.

You are the only man in my life now, Lord, I am leaning on Your love. Bring the light of Your presence to this dark place I'm in. Restore me with the tenderness of Your mercy, until I am strong and whole again.





Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Well, I do.
I had just opened up the Bible and turned to this devotion, without even thinking. Something as simple as that gives me the hope that I need to carry on. This passage described exactly what I've been feeling and also what I've been striving toward. You guys may not relate to this post as much, but the concept is unmistakable.

Everything happens for a reason.